Monique - Diagnosed at 6 years old with RA

Test: Welcome back to the Autoimmune Mom podcast. Today's guest is Monique. Monique is coming to us from Houston, Texas. Is that right? Yes. Very exciting. I'm all the way in Charleston, South Carolina. So ⁓ what's so awesome about this podcast is I am getting to meet people all over the country and even outside of the country. And I just love that so much. So what a great world we live in that I can meet Monique today and share her story with you all. ⁓ Monique, welcome.

Monique Daley: Yes, yes. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited.

Test: ⁓ it's my pleasure. I so appreciate your willingness to share your story. think there's so much value in us moms and women just sharing our stories and feeling less alone and more connected to a community of people who just understand it. So ⁓ thank you for that. Okay, so Monique, tell us a little bit about yourself today. I just said you're in Texas, but tell me a little bit about your family life, what are you doing for work, your diagnosis, all that kind of stuff.

Monique Daley: Oh yeah, sure. So I was raised by my mother. I'm actually originally from Queens, New York. She had me, she flew me out to Florida so she could finish school with my grandmother. And it's me, my younger brother, my oldest sister. We all live down here in Houston. I have a 20 year old son.

Test: Okay. Wow.

Monique Daley: He does mechanic. I'm super proud of him. He is just a go-getter, just like his mother. And then I also have ⁓ a wonderful five-year-old girl that just runs the house. So yeah, I got married three years ago. We just had a third year anniversary. Actually, my birthday was two weeks last Monday on the 20th.

Test: I like that. you ⁓ that's my sister's birthday.

Monique Daley: That's awesome. yeah, it's a blessing. It's a blessing to be 41 years old, okay, ⁓ struggling with my diagnosis. ⁓ so a little bit about my story. My journey didn't start really till six years old. That's when it started. That's when.

Test: But then until you were six years old, that seems very early.

Monique Daley: Six years old, okay exactly. I was, ⁓ after leaving for my grandmother, my mom came back after she graduated, got her masters in nursing. She came back. We moved to Houston with my uncles. My uncles lived out here, so I had more family support. We had more family support. ⁓ We stayed in nice town home and I was very active. mean, you couldn't tell me nothing. I used to climb trees. I was always back flipping, doing flips, just doing anything I can create or get my hands on. It was me and this little boy who went to school together.

Test: I'm sure.

Monique Daley: We used to play every day outside. We were always playing, having fun. I had a babysitter, my great babysitter, she was awesome. I was like, can we go, can we go, can we go play outside? So she let us go outside and play. He would come get me from my house, like, can she play? So what happened was...

Test: ⁓

Monique Daley: We were playing around this, it's called a carpenter table, like a wooden table. And we were playing, jump on and off of it. We were like trying to climb up trees, be a cat. And we were always playing on this table that was sitting outside. And I jumped off the table and sprained my ankle. So this is where this all started. So.

Test: Yeah. ⁓ boy.

Monique Daley: ⁓ His name was Joey. That's who I remember his name. He went and got help. My babysitter was Sandra. Went and got help. She came out. She seen I couldn't walk. She helped carry me inside. She called my mom. My mom was like, ⁓ just give her Motrin. You know, it ain't nothing. She'll be OK. You know, she's not right. So.

Test: She's nurse, you know, yeah, me too, yep.

Monique Daley: She gave me Motrin, it didn't help. When my mom came home, she put ice pack, everything on it. My foot was swollen like a football, like huge. So imagine a six year old foot. My daughter's five, so a small foot being that huge. And my mom was just wasn't sure what it was. she, we tried ice packs, everything. At night I was starting to have night sweats.

Test: Yeah. ⁓ boy.

Monique Daley: So I didn't have fever, I didn't have anything going on. I was just, you know, just pouring with sweat at night. And so my mom said, you know what, let's take you to the hospital. They were thinking it was cancer. That's what they, that's the best thing they came to their mind. So they brought me to the hospital out here close by. They ran some tests, blood work, X-rays. They couldn't figure out what was going on.

Test: Yeah.

Monique Daley: So they contacted Texas Children's. They came and drove me, the ambulance came and drove me to Texas Children's Hospital. Again, they ran their own test as well to figure it out. They even had, they thought it was cancer. They thought it was cancer. I'm telling you, my mom was like so confused. The doctor didn't know what was going on.

Test: Her mother must have been having a stroke. She must have been... Yeah.

Monique Daley: So they had me see a hematologist to see if it was cancer. It wasn't. So I'm not exactly sure what test they took or if the rheumatoid factor was too high or what happened. But they came back and said that I had juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. So that part, of course, again, I am six years old. I don't know what that is. OK?

Test: Yeah. Yeah, and you probably don't care too much you just want to feel

Monique Daley: I didn't care too much. I wanted to go back out and play with my friends, right? So I missed about two weeks of school. I was in kindergarten at that time. Was it kindergarten? I can't remember. Kindergarten or first grade, one of those. But when I did go back to school, ⁓ you know PE, we had physical education at school, right?

Test: Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

Monique Daley: So they have these different stations set up or whatever, know, of course. hey, I have juvenile room to arthritis, so we want to be careful with the activities she's doing and so forth. Again, I didn't know what I was still like, I was just as normal as can be. That's my thought process, right? So we had these different stations in PE and when I got there, the coach asked me, ⁓ you know, are you okay with trying these activities? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, I got it. I'm good.

Test: right. Yeah. you

Monique Daley: So there was a station that was like the back flip station where we just flipped over on our back and I can never forget it. Okay, I can never forget what happened. flipped over on my back. I was like, yeah, I got this. I went in the position, did that one flip, my entire back went out. Like I was just like, wow. When I tell you, it was like a whole alert.

Test: ⁓ no.

Monique Daley: It alerted the whole school. The nurse came in with a wheelchair. All I seen, was just, everything was blurry at that time. I just seen everybody just rushing, pick me up, put me in the wheelchair and brought me back and I had to go home. So that really changed a lot for me. And that's when a lot of stuff just started for me and I just realized like, wow, I can't do what everybody else is doing anymore. But yeah.

Test: Yeah. Yeah. But I can't I mean, that's so hard for an adult like I to wrap your head around that. So I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is for a six year old who is not emotionally or mentally able to process what all of this means. It just must be so sad that you physically can't do anything and you don't understand anything about it. Well, so did they start you right away on different medications and all of that or?

Monique Daley: Yeah, I just. They had me on methotrexate. I started with that.

Test: Mm-hmm.

Monique Daley: can't remember everything. know, I spoke to my mother about it. I was like, what did I, what all happened? But she said they did start me on methotrexate and this pain medicine, medication and stuff like that. I'm pretty sure I probably was on prednisone as well. Right.

Test: Yeah. I'm sure. Who isn't

Monique Daley: Which blew me up, as I went through school, I did get held back for a year, cuz I missed out on so much work and everything. So they did hold me back, I was supposed to graduate in 2023, I ended up graduating in 2024.

Test: ⁓ Yeah.

Monique Daley: So I got help back in first grade and then we went from there. But yeah, with all the medications I was on, I mean, I blew up, my face started getting all moony. know, we get the moot. He said all that.

Test: Yeah. That stuff is terrible. I mean, it does make you feel better, but it it induced a rage in me at one point that I was like, I don't think I'm going to hurt my kids, but I can't really be sure.

Monique Daley: Yeah. It makes you strong. One thing I like about presence art, it does make you strong. It makes you like the effects.

Test: Yeah, I was like, I can't take this stuff anymore. was way overprescribed, which was the problem. But, ⁓ you know, yeah, that stuff is it's like a miracle in one sense because you're in so much pain and it does take it away immediately. But it the side effects are just not good, not good at all.

Monique Daley: Yes.

Test: So you obviously were diagnosed young and you have a 20 year old son. you've been through two pregnancies and a five year old daughter. So you've been through two pregnancies, very different stages in your life. Sounds like they're 15 years apart.

Monique Daley: years.

Test: ⁓ So I'm interested in talking a little bit about that because I've talked to many women who pregnancy they feel great and then it's not so good afterwards. So I'm interested to know what it was like when you were in your 20s as opposed to when you were a little bit older.

Monique Daley: Yes, for sure. yes, OK. Let me. So when I graduated high school, I immediately went off to college. And I was my mom. was the type of person that was really, strict. My mom ended up actually moving to New York. So during my high school years, I was staying with my aunt.

Test: Okay.

Monique Daley: So yeah, after high school I graduated, we moved to, I went to Lamar University where I was supposed to be going to college, but I was doing other things and being fresh. you

Test: We all did trash things in college. We all did. It's okay.

Monique Daley: did end up pregnant while I was in college. The father was not in his life. I had ended up moving back to Houston to take care of my baby, moved back in with my aunt. And I was single mother, single mother raising my son. Yes, so.

Test: sick yeah yeah

Monique Daley: It was rewarding, but at the same time it was hard. It was hard.

Test: Yeah, I'm sure. Was the pregnancy itself physically hard? Because a lot of people I talk to say that they find a remission almost during pregnancy.

Monique Daley: I had a smooth pregnancy with both my kids. Smooth, like no issues. I didn't even have morning sickness. Okay.

Test: ⁓ good, that's good. Yum. ⁓ God, love you. It's no wonder you don't have more than two if you feel great during pregnancy.

Monique Daley: It's kind of, well I mean you still get the regular morning stiffness and all that but as far as you know maybe I had a little bit you know, insomnia or something like that but I didn't

Test: Yeah

Monique Daley: The only thing I will say with my second one, I fell. But we're going to talk about that in a little bit. Let me go through the 20 year old.

Test: Yep. Okay.

Monique Daley: 20 year old, yeah, I grew up as a single mother raising him. I was going through relationships after relationship. You know, I never had a strong, he's a male, right? So I never had a male figure in his life. And you know, we never want our kids to grow up.

Test: Yeah.

Monique Daley: you know, a single parent household. But at the same time, I did have full support with him. He had wonderful godparents that took care of him, you know, when ⁓ on the weekends, when I needed a break. Or he can go see his grandmother in New York. So he's always, I've always had that support. ⁓

Test: ⁓ Yeah.

Monique Daley: There's been times when he got of age at least by eight, nine years old, I worked across the street from where we lived and he would have to stay. I had a neighbor that was watching the house and he would have to stay by himself for about an hour. And, but he was active. ⁓ my God. I always got, ⁓ the principal was calling me. He was doing something. He was, they said ⁓ he had ADHD, right? So I had to get him on medication for that because he was doing stuff to endanger others.

Test: Good voice. Yeah.

Monique Daley: teachers and the staff. But I've always stayed strong and I did what I had to do as a parent. know, and I never want, I never, we don't wish for our children to go through whatever we went through, So I always just make sure I, know, parent him. Make sure I always gave him good advice as he was getting older. But yeah.

Test: No, we don't. you

Monique Daley: He's 20 years old now, he's a mechanic. He started school, he went to college for a little bit, but he just felt like it wasn't for him. he always stayed on straight. Like his head has always been on straight and he's seen what I've went through. He's seen what we went through. Bouncing from place to place. At one point I had to make a decision and... ⁓

Test: I love it. Mm-hmm.

Monique Daley: bring him to send him to New York to go stay with my mom. You know, because I couldn't do it. Life was happening. I was in between homes. So I had to make a decision where, hey, mom, can you keep him or, you know, a few so that until I get myself together. And so that hurt, but I ended up moving to New York. So when he moved like a year later, I moved to New York.

Test: Yeah. Yeah, God love you. Did you?

Monique Daley: to be with him. This is when he was like in middle school, middle school age. He was going to sixth, seventh grade. I ended up moving to New York. Now we know New York is coked, okay? Okay? So I had...

Test: here. Yeah, I know. I'm from Boston, so I get it.

Monique Daley: Something did happen. to, of course I get all my doctors transferred out to New York, started seeing a rheumatologist and so forth. My hips deteriorated. So it got to the point where it was bone on bone.

Test: up. You have been.

Monique Daley: Working I was making sure my health was okay. My blood pressure went up as well So I was diagnosed with high blood pressure My hips were bone-on-bone My wrists they were like blocks so they don't bend anymore. They don't yeah Yeah,

Test: Neither do mine. Like, I can't put my hands flat on the floor. That doesn't work. You know? Yeah. It's not good.

Monique Daley: And then I had to make another decision to move back to Houston. So I'm gonna tell you how this happened. So my family, they're Jamaicans. So. his dog because he passed away a few years back. But he was like a father to me and while I was going through the barely walking because I got to that point I was fine at first and then like probably six months down the line while I was in New York everything just changed again.

Test: Wow, I'm sorry. The weather makes a big difference. I know some people don't do well in the heat and other people don't do well in the cold. I am with you. I am not a cold person. I cannot do it.

Monique Daley: Yes. To be honest, felt connected with New York. I was so happy to be there. The weather, yes, not the greatest, but I was happy to be there for so long. I know if it was something because I'm from there. I got used to the area, the environment. Everything is so fast in New York.

Test: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Monique Daley: loving it and also what I didn't mention is I was told also when I got diagnosed that I'll be in a wheelchair at the age of 15 okay so I did oversee those odds you know and I was doing what I need to do as single mother taking care of my son and just you know whatever so when we got to so yeah back to New York I was bone on bone I was going I was working I was also working so would get up every morning go to work

Test: ⁓ my gosh.

Monique Daley: And I was inching along, this is me going to work no matter what. I was still moving. didn't let nothing mess me up, slow me down. I was still moving and getting to work, barely making it, but I was doing it. And I called my sister who was in Houston. I called her and I said, can't, I don't know how long I could do this anymore. I was like.

Test: Yeah.

Monique Daley: I'm starting to, I feel myself shutting down. keep doing, I keep, I've been doing this for so long, like now I feel like I'm just shutting down because now I can barely walk. Everything is starting to change for me. she had, my sister, she's an orthopedic nurse. So she's connected with a lot of doctors. So she has a doctor, ⁓

Test: Yeah. Yeah.

Monique Daley: That's in Houston and he did my surgery and what I'll tell you he connected me with him and So I said, know what? am moving back to Houston, but I said give me about a month or I told give me about a month or two I'm gonna move back to Houston. So I'm gonna have the So I wanted Jayden. I wanted my son to finish school and all that so

Test: You

Monique Daley: A week. I don't think I can do it too much. Anyways, I went to Jamaica. During that time, on my way to go get my hip replacement, I was trying to buy time also. I had requested for my job to give me some time off. I I got to get myself together. I can barely walk. I went and spent a week in Jamaica with my uncle.

Test: ⁓ Yeah.

Monique Daley: the ticket right away okay didn't care how much it cost and I went to Jamaica stayed out there and when I say I was walking with no problem he was like look like nothing was wrong with you so I was just like I don't know so that's why I had to go to Jamaica kind of know that weather out there I would have felt a lot better so yeah

Test: Yeah No. Yeah, I totally believe that because I feel it myself. That's why I left Massachusetts. I couldn't take it anymore.

Monique Daley: Yeah, so I had to, I was trying to find out a way where I can get some type of relief. That's what I was looking for. That's what I was, you know.

Test: Yeah. You'll do anything when you're in that much pain. You'll do anything. You'll try anything. Yeah.

Monique Daley: Exactly. So, nothing was working to stay in New York so I was like, hey, I'm going on the next flight to Jamaica, okay? came back and instantly the pain came back. I said, I'm on the next flight to Houston. I can't do it. I can't do it. So my son, was still going to school. I said, she said, that's fine. I was crying. When I say I was boohooing, I was crying to her saying, I cannot do it. I am coming. I called the Dr. Coyser's office. I said, when's your next appointment? I need it as soon as possible. Soon. So.

Test: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Monique Daley: So they got me in as soon as possible, ran all kinds of x-rays, everything. They scheduled me in to go ahead and get hip replacement surgery. I had my right hip done first, and then the following year I had to get my left hip. It was just, oh my god, it was crazy. But yeah, so that's how that happened. So I did get to a point where I could barely walk and I got fixed.

Test: Wow. You And this is all before you had your second baby. I don't know if I've ever heard of someone carrying a baby on two hip replacements. This is awesome. I mean, not awesome, it's terrible for you, but I'm loving your story.

Monique Daley: Yes, this is our Yes, thank you, thank you. So yeah, I got my hip replacement. I went through rehabilitation with my sister at the house. My mom was there. I had full family support. I mean, they prepped me for the surgery while at home.

Test: Amazing.

Monique Daley: everything they gave me a special soap I had to wash off and stuff so my mom was helping me with all that and my sister I stayed after the surgery they got me up walking like the next day I was like y'all want me to walk right

Test: Yeah. Yeah.

Monique Daley: said, man, you're doing good or whatever. You're strong. You're strong. I always had that growing up. You are strong. yeah, so I stayed with my sister and she would make sure I'd get up, walk or whatever, do something around the house and stuff like that, just to get my legs going and stuff like that. So, yeah, it was awesome. It was awesome.

Test: You're strong. Yeah. Right. It's crazy. mean, I've not had my hips replaced, but I've had a knee. I'm going to get my other knee done soon. And it's amazing. Like, I forgot what it felt like to not be in pain. I just was like, this is what normal is. It just, you know, it was mind blowing. I just dealt with it for so long that then when you don't have it, it's just, I can't believe I ever lived like that for that long. Yeah.

Monique Daley: Yeah. year. Yes. And the thing about it is after the surgery and I got back driving again, everything felt so different. It's like my posture and everything was, know, And I was like, oh, I can put my seat back now and drive. OK. I like this. So I said I got this done a lot sooner.

Test: Yeah. Yeah.

Monique Daley: But yeah, so I mean, I was definitely ecstatic about that, so yeah.

Test: Good for you. I'm glad to hear that. That's a big deal. And what year did you have your hips done?

Monique Daley: Yes. I had it, it was about eight, nine years ago now that.

Test: Okay. Only feel good now? Good.

Monique Daley: It feels good. No pain. I mean, I was walking and I don't feel tired. I can walk all day. What? I'm not saying that.

Test: that's amazing. What are you doing for treatments for rheumatoid now?

Monique Daley: So right now I take Ziljans. You can subscribe that with me. ⁓ That's really it. And I just, you know, I stay eating fruits and vegetables, you know, making smoothies for myself, stuff like that, which gives you the energy boost and, you know, makes your joints feel a lot better as well.

Test: Yep. We'll do. It's a lot.

Monique Daley: I'm stretching more now, like when I get up in the morning. So, yeah.

Test: Yeah, I find that helps too. My back has been bothering me a lot lately and if I stretch it's like a different world. know, I'm like winting in pain if I don't but if I take the half an hour, 20 minutes just to stretch out a little bit, it feels so much better. Yeah, so I'd love to hear about your daughter not pregnancy and how that might have been different or the same.

Monique Daley: Yes. Okay, so. See so during the pregnancy, I had a few accidents where I fell a few times, like maybe about three four times during my pregnancy. We didn't know, I even called my, so I'll tell you one incident. There's ⁓ one where I used to, we stayed in a townhome out here in Houston.

Test: ⁓ no.

Monique Daley: the stairs I fell off a fell going up so I didn't really hurt anything I was kind of like to the side and then there's another time I went into a corner store and I fell over the curb like take that step up I know I thought I took a step up I don't know what happened but I fell and I had to go to the hospital at that time because

Test: Yeah. ⁓ jeez. Yep. Yeah.

Monique Daley: I needed to make sure the baby was okay and everything. I was fine physically, but I wanted to make sure everything was good with the pregnancy. yeah, and I'm one of those people, like when I fall, don't touch me. Like, I'm embarrassed enough. ⁓ Don't come over here. So you should have seen me. You should seen. ⁓

Test: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yes. Nothing to see here. Nothing to see here.

Monique Daley: he was living with us in the town home as well. And he was with me when I fell and he was already in the store. And my husband was in the store. And I think I was the last one that got out. So I came out and I, no, what it was is, no, hold up, I'll take that back. I was coming out of the store to go get something and then came back in. And that's how I fell.

Test: I'm not laughing, I'm sorry. Gotcha.

Monique Daley: So I fell down, ⁓ missed the curb somehow, fell. And there was a guy trying to help me and I was like, I'm good, I'm good. Leave me alone. Don't touch me. So then he went and got, I said my husband's in the car or whatever, my husband's in the car, I mean in the store. So he went and got him and then they came out, him and my cousin and they were like, come on, we gotta get you up. I'm like,

Test: Don't touch me.

Monique Daley: No, I'm good. You're gonna just stay here?

Test: You sit there for a week.

Monique Daley: me again.

Test: ⁓ my gosh.

Monique Daley: Yeah, I went to the hospital. Everything's been good. Honestly, I didn't get no real like symptoms with her either. Just partly that, and I think that has more pertaining to my hip replacement. I called the doctor and I'm like, what's going on with these hips? I can't even walk properly. I keep tripping. I've always been the type of person to be very careful. I'm always careful.

Test: Perfect. Yeah. Yeah ⁓ my god. Yeah. Well, yeah, because if you fall, it's different game than if a person who doesn't have this. Yeah.

Monique Daley: So when me falling, yeah, me falling, I can't catch myself. So I've always been the type of person, even when I drive, I am so careful. Like you can go first, go ahead. But yeah, I've always been the careful type. So I was just curious, like what's going on? And so they said it could be a balance thing when you have a hip replacement or something.

Test: Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting.

Monique Daley: I was like, okay.

Test: So when you delivered your daughter, did you have symptoms like avare come back strong or was it like you still felt good? That's so good. That's encouraging for women who are listening, who are wanting to have babies. I've talked to a couple ⁓ because a lot of times there's horror stories of afterwards it comes back, you know, a vengeance. So it's nice to know that that's not always the case. Everybody is different. Yeah.

Monique Daley: stuff. Everybody's different. I will say this that both pregnancies I did have to have a C-section. I don't know if it's different for anybody but I've always had to have a C-section. That's the only thing. My hips couldn't expand to deliver a baby.

Test: Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. I mean, that's something I wouldn't have thought about. Interesting. So what do you do now for work, Monique?

Monique Daley: Yes. Right now, so I work from home. I love it. Ever since COVID, I've been working from home and I...

Test: Good for you. Good for you.

Monique Daley: also a tax preparer and I'm also a Legal Shield Independent Associate where we assist people with having access to legal services and identity protection. Yes. I love it.

Test: ⁓ Wow, that's awesome. Tax preparer. I hate taxes. And I hate doing my taxes.

Monique Daley: Yes, yes, I love it. I mean, when top season comes, you're going to get all kinds of personalities coming your way. They're going to be like... half the time. ⁓

Test: I'm sure, I'm sure. I work with the public just in a different perspective. I'm in real estate and ⁓ I've done other things with the public too. So I'm well aware of the quality of people that comes out when there's stress involved in a situation and taxes are stressful. So I can only imagine what you deal with ⁓ in tax season. ⁓ Well, that's great. So, ⁓

Monique Daley: Yes, for sure.

Test: I know you wrote a book. Let's talk a little bit about your book.

Monique Daley: Okay, so this is my book it's called arthritis and me By money McKenzie So this book tells my story Okay, so you got the cliff notes version But it mentions everything you know regarding death like in relationships. You you're talking to your boyfriend, significant other, how that goes. ⁓ Relationships I've been through, depression from a loss of a family member. I went through with that. It talks about my story, you know, growing up with rheumatoid arthritis and being a single mother.

Test: ⁓ huh. Yeah. ⁓ no.

Monique Daley: 2014 I actually will tell you how I came about writing a I was, this is when I was actually, this was when I was in New York. I came to visit my mom in New York and I told her that

Test: Yeah, I'd love to hear it.

Monique Daley: I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking about something. I just had a deep thought. Okay.

Test: Okay.

Monique Daley: I had a deep thought, a real deep thought. I don't know if I told y'all I graduated in 2003 or 2004. 2004, yes. I graduated in 2004 from high school. It came to my mind, don't pay no mind. So, yeah, so I was in the basement at my mom's house when I wrote this book. And...

Test: Thank you.

Monique Daley: She came to me and told me, this was before I wrote the book, she came to me and told me, hey, you need to write a book. I think you should write a book. And I said, well, I don't know how to write a book. She said, all you gotta do is start writing. I didn't know what that meant.

Test: Bye. Yeah.

Monique Daley: Yeah, but it's still a book, so how do I turn it into this? So she told me I need to write a book about my story and everything like that. So I have a cousin that wrote a children's book. So I asked her, I said, how do you write a book? She told me, keep writing, start writing. I said, what does that mean? Right? So I had to, so I started writing. I started writing, but then I was just like, you know how you just like, okay, I'm type this up, da da da da. And then I'm like, so where is this going? So anyways, I had ended up looking, ⁓ you know, doing some research, doing my own research. How do I write a book?

Test: Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Monique Daley: I went through that and yeah, I just decided to put it all together. Yeah, my book, it gives health tips. I'm not a doctor, don't say Monique said.

Test: Yeah.

Monique Daley: tried, you know, I also just put my story in here. Growing up, being a single mother, relationships I've been through, family support, you know, it talks about like family issues that I've had, you know, we're all still people.

Test: Yeah. Yeah. Do you think do you think Rue Matoi has played a part in your relationships and like that you write about in the book? Like, is it? ⁓ What am I trying to say here, Monique? I don't know. Do you think do you think that that a lot of the relationships you went through, what?

Monique Daley: RUMATORI. If RUMATORI freedom.

Test: ⁓ where influence or have any kind of effect on those relationships with your illness that you are dealing with.

Monique Daley: And that's what it'll explain. Like it could talk about like sexual relationships, know, things like that. Just, yeah, like when I went through depression with the loss of a family member, what did that did to my joints? You know, things like that.

Test: Yeah. Yeah. Put a strain on relationships when you don't. Ugh, it's terrible.

Monique Daley: I ended up with a pink eye and I don't even know how I got a pink eye. I was like what? But, uh...

Test: Oh boy. The stress is my biggest trigger and most people I talk to, they tell me that their immune systems just crash when they're in a stressful life. And obviously grieving is the most stress you can go through.

Monique Daley: Yeah. Right, right. I've had a flare up only one, I'm gonna say one and a half times. Only because the other time I was able to calm it down. But I had a flare up one time where I ended up in the ER and they had to admit me. I got to a point where my whole body was like in flames. And they had to stick me in this big old tub.

Test: Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Monique Daley: and give me some fluids and stuff like that to calm my... so stiff I couldn't move.

Test: Yeah, it's unfortunately a common theme I hear that people go through these stages like that and I had my own stage and it's terrible and people just don't realize how hard that is and how much pain one body can be in at one time. I know you said they thought you had cancer at one point and I can remember saying when I was in ⁓ awful flair like I wish I had cancer because I'm either going to beat it or I'm not and this isn't the rest of my life and This is the rest of my life that I'm going to be dealing with this. It's healthiest mindset to have and I wasn't in a good spot when I had it. But that is the honest to God's truth of what I had thought when I was struggling like that. I just wish I had came.

Monique Daley: Yeah, I used to blame. Yeah, I told my mom, I would come to my mom crying and let her know like, why me? Why was I the one chosen? Why, know, they're like, God don't make no mistakes. I'm like, why God gave it to me? And why this didn't happen to my brother and sister? We both came from the same area, okay? ⁓

Test: Yeah. ⁓ man.

Monique Daley: Yeah, used to have so many things. I used to always say, you know what, when I got to my, like in my 20s, I was like, you know, I'm okay with it. You you go through a period where you're grieving, when they say grieving, you're, you know, and then you're okay with it. But to be honest, I never really been okay with me having arthritis.

Test: Yeah. I don't think it's like, that's a real hard thing to be okay with. mean, I can see some silver linings in the dark cloud that's been over my life for the last 16 years, but I'd give it back in a heartbeat and I don't want it.

Monique Daley: It was it. Yeah, I'm good.

Test: I'm not okay with going to get infusions once a month and getting my blood drawn every three months and after his appointment. It's like for the rest of my life, and you've been doing it since you were six, so I can't even, I'm grateful for the years I had without it, that's for sure. But do you have any,

Monique Daley: Exactly. Yes, yes, for sure.

Test: Words of advice for any moms who think their kids might be diagnosed with this or might be struggling with it at a young age?

Monique Daley: say, you know, let your kids, if anybody that is struggling with it, you know, do the best you can with what you got. That's all I can say. If you have a child that's struggling with it, continue to be there for them. ⁓ But let them fly. Let them...

Test: Yeah.

Monique Daley: choose their path. Like with me, and there's some gaps there where like I had to take a yellow school bus, you know, then I got to middle school, right? I got to middle school and I was like, mom, you gotta, you gotta take me off this bus. Just going in front of the school and everybody can see me. So you want them to be who they are, you know,

Test: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Monique Daley: live life, you know, you're here, you wake up every day and just thank God for it, you know? And just always be supportive of one another, be supportive of what your kids are doing and just be free. If there's something that you've always wanted to do it, do, do it. If you can, if you can, okay? I don't want nobody.

Test: Yay. you

Monique Daley: it! Do it! If it makes you feel good. And who cares what people think? Who cares? Yeah.

Test: especially for kids and you you gotta let them fly you can't protect everything and they have to learn the boundaries of their own bodies just as you and i had to learn the boundaries of our own bodies after replacements and whatever else so i think that's wonderful advice

Monique Daley: Yeah. Yeah, and I had wanted to be a part of a dance team when I was in middle school also. They had a dance team. And I told my mama I wanted to be part of it. And she was just like, Monique, you have a condition. You're not going to be able to get in.

Test: Yeah.

Monique Daley: I'm going in there. So I went in there and it helped me with my flexibility because we were doing all these exercises and everything and I did what I could do. Yes, I did not get in. Yes, I cried to my mother. Okay. She like I told you I did it. You know, she did it.

Test: Yeah. Yeah. But you did it, yes. And she didn't steal your thunder, you You had to learn that the way that you had to learn it. And I think that's a beautiful story. And it must have been hard for your mother, though. As a mother, I often feel that.

Monique Daley: Exactly. Yes. Yes. Very. But she has always told me that like her strength comes from me. You know, because like I've always been the type of person to just go out, go after what I want. You know, I mean, here it is. We're in this house and I'm just I continue to make sure the lights are on and I'm just doing what I need to do.

Test: Uhhh... world.

Monique Daley: staying under my mother. I mean, if it gets to that point, okay, it is what it is. But I'm still standing and I'm able to support my family. That's what I'm going to continue to

Test: Right. I love it. You're a good woman, Monique. Is there anything else you'd like to share with our audience before we part ways here?

Monique Daley: Thank you. No, just do what you gotta do. Make 2026 your best year yet and just keep on pushing and going.

Test: Go get it. Can we get your book on Amazon or something like that? Or is there a way?

Monique Daley: Yes, sorry. Thank you for telling me that. So you can get this off of Amazon. You can get it on Barnes and Nobles. You can search even on Google. Google and if you put arthritis in me and put Monique McKenzie, you'll be in my book will pop up there as well.

Test: Yeah. Okay. Awesome. Well, Mackenzie, I mean Mackenzie. Oh, it's Thursday. My brain is fried. Monique, thank you so much. I've loved your story. I I hate it for you, all pieces of it, but I love that you shared it with us and that you've overcome and you're a strong, beautiful spirit and soul. And I feel blessed to have spent some time with you today. So thank you for being here. Oh, you're welcome. I'm going to hit stop.

Monique Daley: Yay!